Seeker and finder of truth
by Deborah Stein
(McKinney, TX, USA)
Wow, I love that you offer to let us contribute! First thought: Communication without the need to be right or the need to be in control is one way to create a relationship that is fulfilling.
Allowing the other to be heard and STOP interrupting would be an added plus,too. And that includes answering your cell phone or text in the middle of a conversation. Choosing humor first is great. Nearly everything is funny! Belief in the other person. Respect for self, respect for the other person. Spontaneity and reciprocity. Sitting on the couch for hours is just plain borinnngggg. And in professional relationships, I dunno, the last few experiences have left me a bit stunned and feeling like we just need to start the recycle process.
Having said that, an ideal professional relationship would be look like this--(and this is supposedly a true story):
Your top sales professional loses that million dollar deal. The status quo is to fire him right? The guy walked into his boss's office, ready to resign. His boss looked at him and said enthusiastically, "Are you kidding? We just spent $1 million educating you!". What an empowered, joyful, genuine and truly movtivating thing to say to that man in that moment! Also, I believe relationships would benefit with the release of the need to struggle through life and think that anything hard won is preferable to something that flows smoothly. I mean, the Old West was won already! Time to join the age of emotional and spiritual evolvement and involvement. And really, at some point ya just can't work hard enough to justify the victory.
I digress, but consider this: If effort equals money, then Bill Gates should be a dead man.
So perhaps there is no need to effort in our relationships to prove yourself and demonstrate how hard you're working at it. Finally, I believe that being genuine goes a long way in any relationship. And I don't mean, from a space of "like it or leave it". It is a developed, internal quality that you can emit to another. No words are even necessary, although words are powerful things. And that developed internal quality can have such an impact.
A question comes to mind: How can you offer "Salve for the Soul" to another without saying a word or touching?
Do you believe another human could feel your love when directed at them if you could not use words or touch?
Let's walk around in the world and do THAT for awhile and watch the effects on relatedness!